JEERS to a crossbow wielding Vladimir Putin. As if he isn’t scary enough, the Russian Prime Minister fired arrows at a grey whale in a recent publicity stunt. "Living in general is dangerous," he responded when asked about the danger. Why do it? "Because I like it. I love the nature." Why do I hear Arnold Schwarzenegger’s voice in that quote? Meanwhile some 15,000 Russians are believed to have died during the country’s worst-ever heat wave. Global warming crisis? What crisis? Go shoot something for science.

CHEERS to one of my favourite dodgy celebs, David Hasselhoff, for taking a ribbing with a smile. Hasselhoff was subject to a mid-August roast MC’d by Family Guy creator Seth MacFarlane, and despite some low-blow jokes the Hoff held his cool. There’s plenty to make fun of though, and it’s amazing that he agreed considering his high-profile battles with alcohol, and hamburgers. Stand-up comedian Jeff Ross went straight for the booze jokes: “The Hoff once blew into a breathalyzer. The breathalyzer said, ‘Whoa! Whoa! One at a time people!’” Another lifetime ago, David Hasselhoff came into the nightclub I worked at in Toronto. I was so excited my coworkers looked at me funny. “It’s Knightrider!” I exclaimed. The Hoff was in a dancing mood, sporting a leggy young brunette and apparently looped on ecstasy. Legend!
 
JEERS to Haiti’s dictator-in-waiting, Wyclef Jean, for his web-released song “Prison for CEP”---referring to the Haitian electoral commission who denied Jean’s application to run for president. Seriously, Wyclef, is it wise to threaten people with prison before you’ve got the power to make it happen? The song was posted on Jean’s blog, where one delicious comment blasted the rapper’s “embarrassing and shameful publicity stunt” and called on the former Fugee to “learn how to speak English properly since [the] majority of your education was in English.”